If not for the gonzo energy coursing through its vulgar veins, there would be nothing whatsoever to recommend about Crank 2, an otherwise appalling piece of amped-up action junk that’s as racist, morally repugnant, and degrading to women as its predecessor.

Despite going splat at the end of the first flick, Jason Statham returns as the unpleasant hit man with the exotic name who, after spending an entire film finding ways to make his indestructible heart beat faster, spends this one running around L.A. trying to retrieve the thing, as it was removed by a Chinese gangster (the late David Carradine) and replaced with a man-made model that Statham must keep juiced.

Where the recent Shoot ‘Em Up felt a lot like a live-action cartoon, this one does a pretty good imitation of a live-action videogame, from the relentless pace and crazy camera angles, to the music and in-your-face close-ups and vigorous editing. The latter is especially evident in a nicely done chase scene in a parking garage where Statham jumps from level to level in chasing the Asian punk who has his ticker.

It’s all about the gimmick, anyway, to watch in shock and awe the ways Statham chooses to get charged. He attaches jumper cables to his chest, gets tasered by cops, wears a dog’s shock collar and, in the film’s climax, actually climbs up a power pole. Not to mention getting frisky with an old lady and performing a certain act with his girlfriend (Amy Smart) in front of a cheering crowd at the horse track.

In fact, pretty much all Smart does in this increasingly far-fetched franchise is have sex with Statham, swear like a sailor and prance around in a skimpy dress, though here she at least gets to beat up her slimy strip club boss (Corey Haim!). For sure she’s less annoying than the shrill Chinese prostitute (Ling Bai) who keeps popping up to exasperate Statham.

And while I could handle the various bloody shootouts, there were more than a few bits of overly gratuitous business. One guy has to slice off his nipples as punishment, another slices off somebody’s elbow as a threat, and Statham treats one end of a rather obese thug to the business end of a shotgun in a way no one should ever have to witness.

But returning writer-directors (and I use those terms loosely) Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor manage to include enough entertainingly off-kilter elements to make all the nastiness somewhat tolerable. This includes Dwight Yokam reprising his seedy doctor-pal part, and extends to said Asian punk, an amusing character who refers to said elbow threat as “new and interesting.”

There’s also the guy whose full-body Tourette’s kicks in at inopportune moments, including a surreal little scene when he first meets said Chinese prostitute, and the sight of the still-conscious head of a first-film baddie kept alive by this film’s baddie (Clifton Collins, Jr.). And nothing but nothing tops the tussle between Statham and said punk that suddenly morphs into a Godzilla-like brawl.

It all adds up to one of the most surreal experiences I’ve ever had watching an action film, one made all the more bizarre by cameos by Ron Jeremy and former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell. But at least we know that someone’s still willing to give Corey Haim a job. – [DVD]

Action/Comedy/Crime

Rated R

DVD Release Date: 9/8/09

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