The moment a sweet old lady with razor-sharp teeth started spewing obscenities and crawling on the ceiling, I knew I was in for a good time with Legion, an angels-at-war horror flick starring Paul Bettany and Dennis Quaid that one could sum up as The Prophecy meets Assault On Precinct 13.
Seems that God is once again unhappy with humanity, so the buff Bettany (as the angel Michael) falls to Earth, hacks off his wings, arms himself to the teeth and rushes off to Quaid’s out-of-the-way Arizona diner so he can save an unborn baby whose birth will save mankind.
It’s silly stuff, sure. I mean, c’mon, the diner is called “Paradise Falls,” and Bettany keeps solemnly intoning that, “It’s started” or “They’re here.” And most of the characters are one-dimensional irritants (see: Adrianne Palicki) whose job is to either move the plot along or get picked off by the throngs of angel-inhabited citizens–little boys and girls included–who keep showing up.
Luckily, I couldn’t care less about any of that, seeing as I’m a big fan of B-movies like this one that are set in an isolated location and feature semi-familiar stars (see: Kate Walsh or Jon Tenney). I’m also a fan of explosions, of which this movie has many. There are some sweet effects here, too, like the ominous cloud of locusts or the masses of angels swooping through the sky.
Acting-wise, Bettany is best, not only because he actually looks kind of otherworldly, but because he briefly manages to give the film some depth as he explains why he betrayed his fellow angels. Character actor Charles S. Dutton lends some warmth, while Quaid is cranky, Lucas Black plays a guy named “Jeep” and Tyrese Gibson is just plain hostile.
As is the relationship between Bettany and the angel Gabriel (the physically imposing Kevin Durand of TV’s Lost), who battles it out with his fair-haired brother in the film’s best scene. They punch and kick each other, employ a mace and demonstrate just how dangerous an angel’s wings can be. And yet, it still doesn’t beat watching that little old lady smack Dennis Quaid across a room. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]
Action/Fantasy/Thriller
Rated R
DVD Release Date: 5/11/10