He joins up with Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), a survivor with a more aggressive and playful attitude towards the zombie populace. He has two main goals: to locate and consume the last stockpile of Twinkies on Earth (as he reminds us, they do in fact have an expiration date) and to win the coveted status of Zombie Killer of the Week. To that end he has collected an arsenal of inventive zombie-killing tools, from various gardening implements to a banjo. Columbus and Tallahassee eventually encounter Wichita and Little Rock (Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin), con artist sisters who are distrustful of anyone but each other. They all end up on a quest to reach the rumored safe-zone at Pacific Playland, a famous amusement park outside of L.A. Along the way they meet Zombieland’s Secret Celebrity Cameo (don’t tell anyone who it is, dammit!).

I’m a little surprised that I’ve spent so much time outlining the characters in a zombie movie, but Zombieland is in fact an especially character-driven comedy, and its cast is marvelous. Its premise is not particularly unique–it essentially follows the same plot as Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later. Comparisons will naturally be made with Shaun of the Dead as well. And yes, I know that the zombies of Zombieland are not technically zombies in the literal sense (you see, “zombie” is only supposed to denote a re-animated corpse that craves the flesh of the living). But you’ll still want to aim for the head, and don’t be stingy with your bullets (see Rule #2).

After all, what is one of the main reasons we fantasize so much about zombies? Surely it must be our secret desire to point a large shotgun at someone’s head without any guilt or repercussions. Let’s never forget Rule #32: Enjoy the Little Things. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Action/Comedy/Horror

Rated R

DVD Release Date: 2/2/10

It’s based on a book by Jodi Picoult and involves an 11-year-old girl (Abigail Breslin) who, having been conceived by her parents (Jason Patric and Cameron Diaz) primarily to provide spare parts for her leukemia-stricken sister (Sofia Vassilieva), files for medical emancipation. We hear voiceovers from a number of characters, including the lone son (Evan Ellingson).

To me, having to choose sides–determined Diaz or bright Breslin?–makes things more interesting. It’s obvious, though, that Cassavetes, who co-wrote the script, has already chosen, as Diaz is portrayed as something of a shrew for caring more about her dying daughter than her healthy one. We also get a twist late in the teary game meant to excuse Breslin for her seemingly selfish actions.

I imagine Diaz appeared in this thing either to increase her Oscar chances or earn some dramatic credibility. She acts mad, becomes a little crazy, cries, all that. But it’s all on the surface, and she doesn’t have the range to go deeper. Patric does a decent job as the patient firefighter dad, for sure, but I’ve always found him somewhat bland and he isn’t given much of a character to work with here.

Better is Alec Baldwin as the slightly slick but good-hearted lawyer who takes on Breslin’s case while hiding a condition of his own from her. Better still is Joan Cusack as the judge presiding over the case, a woman who recently lost her own daughter. The scene where she chats with Breslin in her chambers really resonates. As for Breslin, well, she’s not bad, either.

I don’t necessarily blame you if you cry at all this. Cancer is not a happy thing, and watching a kid vomit is not pleasant, nor is seeing her with a bald head and red-rimmed eyes and a bloody nose. But Cassavetes does include some smile-inducing elements, most notably Vassilieva having a romance with a fellow cancer patient (Thomas Dekker) that allows her to be happy and get dressed up.

Still, you will cry, especially when the family goes to the beach. As Breslin and Ellingson dash around, and Patric and Vassilieva and Diaz sit on a blanket, Vassilieva, wrapped in a blanket and with a handkerchief wrapped around her head, struggles up and walks toward the ocean as “Feels Like Home” swells on the soundtrack. Resistance is futile.

I have to give Cassavetes credit, though, for eschewing big speeches and death scenes, and for composing some truly nice shots. Like the scene when Diaz comforts her sick girl after delivering devastating news, or when Ellingson is on a rooftop, tearing up a picture he’s drawn and letting it blow away in the wind.

In the end, the film manipulates emotions a little too much, fails to fully flesh out its characters and features some really ridiculous courtroom stuff. It’s neither as entertaining as Terms of Endearment nor nearly as good as the wrenching Wit, which stars Emma Thompson. It does seem less syrupy than The Bucket List, but watching it is hardly something I’d include on such a list. – [DVD]

Drama

Rated PG-13

DVD Release Date: 11/17/09