The fart jokes were not funny at all and really did not make any sense either. I was just glad that I did not see any testicle kicking or more than a few fart jokes. And the parts when a frog tells Juliet that her butt looks fat or that she looks hot made me feel sick that children think that that is funny. The ironic twist to the original ‘Romeo and Juliet’ was not so great, as they had Juliet be a super athletic super ninja. I thought they were garden gnomes, but people who want a sporty princess in a movie are in luck.

Once the Terrafirminator lawn mower (Hulk Hogan) is bought by Gnomeo’s small companion, Benny (Matt Lucas), is where the good part comes in. Of course the ending is not too great for kids my age and maybe a little bit older. Maybe too happy or maybe too fun or whatever it might be. But, I would suggest this to young kids and maybe young parents too. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Animation/Adventure/Comedy

Rated G

DVD Release Date: 5/24/11

The Illusionist

Like Tati’s other stories, this one is not strongly plot-driven. It is, rather, an establishment of setting and mood punctuated by endlessly clever yet understated comic setpieces. Though all of Tati’s films have an undercurrent of nostalgic melancholy, Illusionist serves up a sharper, more intimate sting, presumably due to the more personal nature of the story he wrote, and perhaps why he never could produce it himself.

This is a gorgeous film to look at. Chomet’s style of animation, both here and in Belleville, recalls Disney’s middle-period animated features from the 60’s through the 80’s, which were a riot of pencil-drawn spontaneity and dusky watercolor depths. His character designs blend sharply exaggerated caricature and naturalistic proportions. His use of computer-aided animation is more prominent here, but never heavy-handed or gimmicky. At one point, we even see the real Tati meet his re-animated counterpart.

It’s also plenty funny, but, true to Tati, more full of wise winks and smiles than belly laughs. Chomet and Tati share a love of visual humor–neither director’s films have much essential dialogue–teasing us, for instance, with a shot from behind of a Scotsman on a little motorboat, his kilt blowing in the wind. Or a nice little scene where the penniless magician takes a job at an auto garage and tends to a rich Texan’s ostentatious Cadillac–classic Tati, with Chomet’s satirical barbed twist (the license plate reads “B1G-A55″).

It’s appropriate that a film about a magician should itself be intrinsically and self-evidently magical. But I’m convinced that those who approach The Illusionist familiar not only with Chomet’s work but with Tati’s will find it downright exhilarating, as I did. Therefore I will end this review with an aggressive plug for Tati’s films–particularly 1967’s Playtime. To use my favorite facile tagline for it, it’s like the cinematic equivalent of “Where’s Waldo?” Be sure to watch it on as big a screen as you can–with Criterion’s Blu-Ray disc if possible. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Animation/Comedy/Drama

Rated PG

DVD Release Date: 5/10/11

Disney

Said story, of course, is “Rapunzel,” the Brothers Grimm fairy tale about a girl with really long hair locked away in a tower by an evil enchantress. Here the girl, a princess kidnapped as a baby by a vain woman who wants the kid’s hair for its magical healing properties, is made into a relatable teenager who manages to escape the tower thanks to the arrival of a roguish thief.

Unlike her classic brethren, Rapunzel (voiced by Mandy Moore), while certainly innocent and naïve of the world, is a spirited girl here, wielding a cast iron frying pan (an object turned into an amusing running joke) and tying people up with her lengthy locks. So she makes for a better role model for girls, and, in a nice gender-reversal touch, especially for Disney, essentially gets to save the day.

The thief is voiced by Zachary Levi (TV’s Chuck), who makes the guy both smooth and vain to a hilarious degree. His funniest scenes usually involve a white palace horse named Maximus, whose behavior and facial expressions help make him the film’s funniest character. There’s also Rapunzel’s pet chameleon, who sticks his tongue in Levi’s ear and shows emotion by changing color.

As well directors Byron Howard (who also made Bolt) and Nathan Greno render the film beautifully, wholly succeeding in their stated aim of making it sometimes resemble an oil painting, in particular the wondrous scene in which hundreds of lighted lanterns are released into the air. They also wring some genuine emotion from the story, like when the queen gently wipes a tear from the king’s eye.

Granted, the characters don’t look perfectly real (their eyes are a little too big), and the demise of Rapunzel’s captor (voiced with perfect wickedness by Donna Murphy) might prove a bit intense for some tots. But such darkness, which is present in the best of Disney’s animated films, is easily balanced out here by the sight of a tavern full of brutes singing about having dreams.- [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Animation/Comedy/Family

Rated PG

DVD Release Date: 3/29/11

Tales From Earthsea

The superficial look of the characters and environments is classic Miyazaki. Supposedly, Hayao had no involvement at all with his son’s film once it was underway (they were apparently not even on speaking terms), so it is disappointing that Goro did not establish his own aesthetic for his film, rather than borrowing his father’s style wholesale. But despite the clear intention to mimic the appearance of a Miyazaki classic, Earthsea’s characters look strikingly flat, opaque and disconnected from their watercolor environs. At times I even thought it looked like a lower budget television production, not the blockbuster feature film it was in Japan. In the end, though, it mostly only pales in comparison with other works from Ghibli. The world of anime in Japan is vast, encompassing a broad spectrum of genre and quality. To put it another way, Hayao Miyazaki is to Pixar what Goro is to Dreamworks Animation. As for its suitability for kids, I wouldn’t recommend Earthsea for younger kids–its content is closer to the PG-13 range. Of course, even if you don’t watch Tales From Earthsea, that shouldn’t stop you from revisiting the real Miyazaki classics. This week also saw the release of Hayao’s second feature, Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind, on Blu-ray, which is a perfect excuse to watch (or rewatch) one of the great classics of animation. – [DVD]

Animation/Adventure/Fantasy

Rated PG-13

Steve Carell

Carell voices Gru, a bald, Nosferatu-looking über villain who hasn’t been very successful in his chosen profession. So he hatches a can’t-miss plan to steal the moon, which involves retrieving a shrink ray from a rival über villain, which itself involves adopting a spirited trio of little girls.

The funniest thing about the film has to be Gru’s minions– short, yellow, thimble-shaped little guys that wear goggles and speak in an amusing kind of gibberish. They’re used as guinea pigs for anti-gravity rays and fart guns, laugh at the bubbles in a water cooler and go shopping for a new toy for one of the orphans. No matter what they do, you’ll laugh.

Almost as funny is the accent Carell creates for Gru, a Dracula-sounding thing that perfectly complements the character’s pointy-nosed appearance. And the character’s all the more humorous for not really being that evil. More like mischievous on a big scale. His biggest claims to fame include stealing the Times Square jumbotron and the tiny Las Vegas version of the Eiffel Tower.

But the execution of all this is surprisingly uninspired, the attempts at cleverness a little too clever and the action a little too frantic. So the rival villain (Jason Segel) being a big-egoed schlub gets annoying fast, watching Gru’s bad-guy ship shrink in mid-air is not funny, and it’s no surprise that Gru eventually warms up to the girls, the youngest of whom is absolutely adorable.

If anything, the film is proof that not every all-CGI flick is a home run, even with the involvement of talent like Carell, Segel and Russell Brand (funny as the voice of Gru’s old-man assistant, Dr. Nefario). That doesn’t mean it’s a despicable movie. Just a slightly disappointing one. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Animation/Comedy/Family

Rated PG

DVD Release Date: 12/14/10

Once upon a time there was an animated ogre named Shrek.
He was in a movie that made a lot of money, so its studio said, what the heck?
There are enough ideas for a few more rounds.
We’ll make some sequels and try not to run the idea into the ground.
They came close, those studio suits did.
This fourth movie just manages to be entertaining, but hopefully this is it.

Shrek married a lady ogre named Fiona and together they made a life.
Three babies and many dirty diapers later, he finds his domestic bliss full of strife.
He just wants some time alone.
So an evil little imp named Rumpelstiltskin throws him a bone.
Sign this piece of paper, he says, and you’ll be the scary Ogre you once were.
Shrek happily does this, and then bad things occur.

The movie is more sweet than funny, really.
But it still has stuff that will make kids laugh, don’t be silly.
Like Eddie Murphy as the voice of Donkey, Shrek’s faithful buddy.
Who had some babies of his own with a dragon; boy, is that nutty.
There’s also the cat known as Puss ‘n’ Boots, who turns lazy and fat.
He can’t lick himself or turn over; oh, how they’ll chuckle at that.

I myself thought Rumpelstiltskin was a real hoot.
He looks and acts like a spoiled brat, and wears big wigs that reflect his mood.
In one clever bit, he hires The Pied Piper to get rid of Shrek.
He tells a witch, “It’s time to pay the Piper,” and to get his book full of checks.
In another he poses a question to Pinocchio, who, of course, lies.
And the wooden boy’s nose grows really long and pokes Rumpelstiltskin in the eye.

The broomstick ride through the castle is also a thrill, thanks to the director named Mike.
Who also includes a touching ending that adults will probably like.
But I must object to all the pop songs on the soundtrack.
Many of them tunes I like, as a matter of fact.
Lionel Richie, Karen Carpenter, The Monkees and Stevie Wonder, they’re all there.
Yet their constant presence made this movie just a little harder for me to bear. – [DVD]

Animation/Adventure/Comedy

Rated PG

DVD Release Date: 12/7/10

Which is too bad, because I thought the film started out well, especially in how Zemeckis establishes Scrooge’s stingy disposition. We first see him half-hidden in shadows as he tends to his dead business partner Marley. He’s reluctant to pay the man who prepared the body, and then snatches the coins off the dead man’s eyes as the body is carted away.

It also helps that Zemeckis includes details I’m guessing are in the book, like Scrooge’s view of unions and such, as well as certain pieces of dialogue. They lend the early goings-on a nice ring of authenticity. Zemeckis also does a beautiful job of rendering London itself, from the buildings and fog to the falling snow and kids sliding around on the ice. You get a nice sense of place.

But I lost any serious respect for the film once the supernatural shenanigans started. Scrooge zooms around the sky, gets chased by some red-eyed horses and is shrunk down to Lilliputian size, which allows him to ride on some icicles. Such antics will probably appeal to the tots, but they only serve to take away from the film’s more interesting dramatic aspects.

As does the fact that the CGI characters, as real as they may look, simply lack the appropriate emotional expressiveness. Which is a shame, because the vocal work from Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Bob Hoskins and Robin Wright-Penn, among others, is excellent. Same goes for Jim Carrey as Scrooge (and the three ghosts), though he occasionally over-employs his I’m-an-actor voice.

Overall, it’s decent family entertainment, with a few scenes–like the Ghost of Christmas Present turning into a skeleton–that might be a mite scary for some kids. But it’s not nearly as good as the 1984 version starring George C. Scott. I mean, no one says “Bah, humbug” better than the man who played Patton. - [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Animation/Drama/Family

Rated PG

DVD Release Date: 11/16/10

The story is fairly simple–the Irish abbey at Kells is under threat from the Vikings, and the Abbot (Brendan Gleeson), obsessed with security, has ordered the construction of a monumental wall around the village to protect its inhabitants. His young nephew Brendan (Evan McGuire) would rather hang out in the scriptorium with the monks than haul stones to the wall. Complicating matters is Brother Aidan (Mick Lally) a master illuminator who comes to Kells carrying a legendary book that he has been working on for years. Aidan takes a liking to Brendan and begins to teach him the art of illumination (creating intricate artwork within the text and margins of manuscripts). While fetching ingredients for a special ink, Brendan meets Aisling (Christen Mooney) a beautiful, tempestuous forest fairy who guides him to his goal.

Though The Secret of Kells does include a dangerous, mostly faceless villain (the Vikings), it eschews the typical confrontation between good and evil, instead imparting the much more sophisticated notion that the preservation of a culture has more to do with saving books and art than erecting walls. This is a kid-friendly film that genuinely promotes literacy, nonviolence and humor as supreme values. The visual style is unique and often spectacular. The final sequence, in which the filmmakers took pages from the actual Book of Kells (among the most spectacular and precious artifacts of Medieval Europe) and restored and animated them, is brief but worth the price of admission alone. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Animation/Adventure/Fantasy

Unrated

DVD Release Date: 10/5/10

I mean, really. The CGI critters go to school, fall for some girl chipmunks and compete in a music contest, all while being watched over by a slacker of a substitute guardian (Zachary Levi) and dealing with the slimy antics of their former agent (David Cross).

As such the film, despite the best efforts of director Betty Thomas, feels distracted, especially in the lazy way it solves Levi’s problems. There’s also the just plain weird sight of Cross in a gold-lame dress trying to make sock puppets sing, and disturbing references are made to The Silence of the Lambs and pole dancing.

I know, I know. It’s made for kids, who will really only care about seeing helium-voiced Alvin (Justin Long), Simon (Matthew Gray Gubler) and Theodore (Jesse McCartney) spin around in a juicer, fight in a dumpster, ride around on little vehicles, get smacked by dodge balls and play football. Not to mention sing generic tween pop tunes, including a version of “We Are Family.”

As an adult I appreciated any scene with Wendie Malick as the school principal who’s also a closeted Chipmunks fan. But as a big fan of Levi’s TV show Chuck, I was even happier to see him moonlighting in an actual movie, even if he does play second fiddle to chattering chipmunks who give wedgies to high school jocks. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Animation/Comedy/Family/Romance

Rated PG

DVD Release Date: 3/30/10

Anderson takes characters and basic plot points from the book, deconstructs most of the story, and goes on to create a bona fide “Wes Anderson” film. But the funny thing is, it works. Anderson likes to create precise, contained little dollhouse universes. So stop-action animation may actually be the perfect medium for him. His playful visuals inject a completely new energy into Dahl’s 1970 text. By combining them with a dream team of actors voicing the characters (some newly invented for the film), a harmonious balance between children’s lit classic and 2010 postmodern claymation art film is achieved.

The premise, roughly, is a daredevil cat- er, make that fox-burglar (Mr. Fox, voiced by George Clooney), who targets the creepy and joyless triumvirate of farmers Boggis, Bunce and Bean in his larceny, promises his fox-wife (Meryl Streep) he’ll lead a straight-and-narrow life once they have their first kit (Jason Schwartzman, here in all his awkward glory). However, when the opportunity for one last heist presents itself, our Mr. Fox can’t resist starting to scheme. Complicating life for the Fox family is nephew Kristofferson, staying as a guest while his father recovers from pneumonia. Community members including the lawyer Badger (Bill Murray) and the ferret-like Coach Skip (Owen Wilson) make up a background of complex relationships in this world of woodland creatures, who all find they must ultimately depend on each other to survive.

There does seem to be a deeper message about ecology and wildlife conservation in somewhere among the whimsy.  But this is mostly an endearing diversion, with nods to modern-day heist films like, say, Clooney’s past hit Ocean’s 11, as well as claymation classics of yore. All the while, Anderson plays with his storytelling in both method and form, ending up with something that feels fresh and original, while retaining the nostalgic details that make the story so enduring. The animals are bestowed with blends of distinct human and animal characteristics and mannerisms, and the look of both the characters and the settings is fun and intriguing. There have been many Roald Dahl adaptations that missed the mark a bit (not counting The Witches and the 1970’s Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory), but Anderson demonstrates that a film adaptation can be successful if it incorporates its own unique and thoughtful ideas. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Animation/Adventure/Comedy/Family

Rated PG

DVD Release Date: 3/23/10