Soon after humans discover the existence of both species and try to eradicate them, Beckinsale’s vamp is captured and cryogenically preserved. Many years later, she thaws out and sets about trying to thwart the genetic machinations of a ruthless scientist (Stephen Rea), receiving help from a pretty-boy vampire (Theo James) and a helpful detective (Michael Ealy).

On a positive note, the plot is relatively straightforward and easier to follow compared to the convoluted mythology storylines of the first three films, and Swedish directors Mans Marlind and Bjorn Stein both give the film a pleasingly sleek and slick look and ensure you can actually make out what’s happening during the plentiful, relentless and extremely bloody action sequences.

Beckinsale herself remains a striking figure as Selene, breathtakingly cool and confident as she struts around in her sleek leather outfits, blasts away with machine pistols and evades danger by running up walls and flipping back over the bad guys. She even bodily broadsides a van at one point, sending it flipping and flying. And her character’s graceful landings after jumping from very high places are a thing of elegance amid all the mayhem.

But the action scenes, while blessedly coherent, generally lack energy and style. You first notice this as Beckinsale, James and Beckinsale’s genetically unusual tween daughter (India Eisley) flee in a van from a pack of Lycans, and then later in Beckinsale’s initial tussle with a colossal über-Lycan, a sequence that also serves to remind us what second-rate CGI creations the werewolves are here. Paul Haslinger’s pounding score attempts to make these scenes exciting, but to no avail.

The only sequence that’s even kind of visually interesting is when Beckinsale saunters in slo-mo out of an elevator she’s just blown open, silver nitrate particles drifting down around her like snow. Otherwise, the film has little personality, and gets no help from the too low-key Rea. Its biggest flaw is how it ends so abruptly at the 78-minute mark, leaving you unsatisfied and screaming for blood. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Action/Fantasy/Horror

Rated R

DVD Release Date: 5/8/12

Like in the first film, an ensemble cast of slumming stars earns paychecks acting out various contrived scenarios in and around New York City (the center of the universe in rom coms), all leading up this time to the dropping of the Times Square ball on New Year’s Eve.

Of the eight storylines concocted by Valentine’s Day screenwriter Katherine Fugate, I couldn’t have cared less about six, including Hilary Swank being in charge of the ball, Katherine Heigl feuding with ex Jon Bon Jovi, Ashton Kutcher and Glee star Lea Michele getting trapped in an elevator and Josh Duhamel rushing to get back to the city for an important romantic appointment.

Swank, simply put, does not belong in a comedy, and, what’s more, proved incredibly ineffective in making me not want to throw up during the excruciatingly “inspirational” televised speech her character gives at one point. Bon Jovi sings better than he acts, Michele sings more than she actually talks and Duhamel’s vignette is a blatant rip off of An Affair to Remember.

The segment I cared for least involved Sarah Jessica Parker refusing to let teen daughter Abigail Breslin go to the ball drop with cute boy Jake T. Austin. Rom-com vet Parker is fine, actually, but Breslin’s rebellious and disrespectful behavior towards her, at least as written, was barely tolerable. Granted, I’m not a parent, but I still wouldn’t let a kid act the way Breslin does.

In the why-is-he-in-this-thing category is Robert De Niro, who plays a dying man just wanting to live long enough to see the ball drop one last time. (Halle Berry is his improbably pretty nurse, Cary Elwes his doctor.) Whatever respect I had left for the man after all the junk he’s made over the last decade is nearly gone. Is he really this hard up for cash?

The better segments include Seth Meyers and Jessica Biel (a funny pair, those two) as a couple competing with Til Schweiger (?!) and Sarah Paulson for first-New-Year’s-baby prize money, which has a nicely touching resolution, and Zac Efron as an energetic, bro-calling bike messenger helping timid Michelle Pfeiffer fulfill her list of ambitious New Year’s resolutions in creative ways.

Every now and then a true laugh pops up—air bags, Marshall flick regulars Hector Elizondo and Larry Miller—but otherwise this is basically just sap in movie form. Even how the characters are connected isn’t quite as interesting as it is in the first film. If you really want to be entertained, skip to the end credits and watch the gag reel. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Comedy/Romance

Rated PG-13

DVD Release Date: 5/1/12

Black Hawk Down

As cities across the globe are besieged by extraterrestrials bent on eradicating us, we follow a Camp Pendleton-based squad of Marines, led by a green Lieutenant (Ramon Rodriguez) and Eckhart’s veteran Staff Sergeant, as they battle the indistinct-looking beings while evacuating civilians (including Bridget Moynahan and Michael Peña) from Santa Monica before the city is bombed to dust.

The film is comprised mostly of ground battles amidst rubble-strewn streets and freeways that look and sound fairly realistic, even if the soldiers are fighting aliens or trying to take out alien ships. Director Jonathan Liebesman effectively uses the popular shaky-cam technique to convey the life-threatening anxiety of it all, and the soldiers behave with enjoyably exaggerated military-movie bravado, risking their lives or selflessly sacrificing themselves on a moment’s notice.

Liebesman, whose resume includes horror films like Darkness Falls and the Texas Chainsaw prequel, proves very adept with the action stuff, blowing up vehicles and buildings and showing us spectacular shots of a devastated L.A. But he also makes the various firefights appropriately intense, and certain moments of destruction, like a helicopter exploding, sudden and shocking.

And he does this from beginning to end, from when the alien ships begin to rain down like meteorites and take out Navy destroyers, to the fantastic finale in which the surviving soldiers work feverishly to destroy a massive alien command ship. The effects are top-notch, too, and were created by a company run by the Brothers Strause, who coincidentally made their own alien-invasion movie in Skyline.

What helps make this film superior to that one is that we’re given characters to root for instead of irritants we’d rather see die. This doesn’t mean they’re particularly well-developed. There’s the scared newbie, the newly minted, yet unsure, squad leader, and the solider who resents the veteran (a story element that annoyed me). All one-dimensional, but certainly tolerable.

Michelle Rodriguez has made a career out of playing badass cops and soldiers and such, so her presence here as a tech officer is not surprising, but it is definitely welcome, as she’s one of the few actresses nowadays who looks both comfortable and convincing kicking butt or shooting a gun. One of her first lines has her joking, “I didn’t get this far on my good looks.”

The real surprise here is Eckhart. He takes his stock veteran-who-wants-to-retire role and gives it some decent depth. Sure, the writers give his character a little color by having him drive a classic Mustang. But it’s Eckhart who convinces us the guy is both a tough and intelligent soldier and a compassionate man who doesn’t mind telling a boy it’s okay to cry. His performance is the closest thing we get to nuance in this super-sized serving of somewhat silly sci-fi. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Action/Sci-Fi

Rated PG-13

DVD Release Date: 6/14/11

Wilson and Sudeikis play a couple of over-40 pals who are so unhappy with their sex lives that their wives (Jenna Fischer and Christina Applegate) grant them the title pass, basically a week off from marriage during which the guys are free to have sex with other women.

To appease the teen boys and college guys, the brothers throw in plenty of the kind of gross-out moments they’re known for–male and female nudity, a woman spraying diarrhea on a shower wall, Sudeikis getting caught by cops doing something he shouldn’t in a minivan–plus plenty of explicit talk about sex and such.

But they balance out the outrageous stuff with surprisingly meaningful writing and by having situations play out a little differently than you might expect. This goes mainly for the relationships that develop between Wilson and a hot Australian girl (Nicky Whelan) and Fischer and an older man (Bruce Thomas), as well as Applegate’s flirtation with a college-age baseball player (Tyler Hoechlin).

As well the brothers make sure all the characters are interesting, even the supporting ones, like Whelan’s coffeehouse co-worker (Derek Waters), Wilson and Fischer’s twenty-something babysitter (Alexandra Daddario), and the forty-something woman (Kristin Carey) who seduces Sudeikis. Richard Jenkins (The Visitor) plays what is easily the funniest character, a fifty-something playa who gives the guys advice on how to pick up women.

The main cast is what makes the movie really work, though. Wilson is unexpectedly affecting as the practical pal with middle-age worries, and his speech about the spot on his chest where his wife and kids have all fallen asleep is the film’s emotional highlight. Sudeikis deftly delivers laughs with his perpetual potty mouth and desperate attempts to get lucky, while Applegate is adequate and Fischer simply shines, especially during the nicely-handled scenes in which she’s charmed by said older guy.

If you just want laughs, there are plenty of them, including Wilson imagining the consequences of buying said babysitter some beer; a pompous guy boasting about his Prius, which is parked next to a Hummer; Wilson and Sudeikis being oblivious to the security cameras as they walk around said guy’s new house; the use of the “Law & Order” chime as each hall-pass day starts; Sudeikis wearing a strange mask to help him sleep; the guys going to Chili’s to find women; and pal Stephen Merchant’s hilarious envisioning of what would happen if he had a hall pass. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Comedy/Romance

Rated R

DVD Release Date: 6/14/11

Michael Bay

Based on the first book in a potential six-book series, it centers on an alien teen (Alex Pettyfer) who, along with eight others, was sent to Earth as a child to escape a hostile invading race. When said race discovers where the kids are and starts eliminating them, the boy and his warrior-guardian (Timothy Olyphant) move from town to town in an effort to evade them. As if that’s not bad enough, Pettyfer starts developing inherited alien abilities, including telekinesis and super strength.

Caruso, who’s fast become one of my favorite directors of thrillers, once again displays a refreshing knack for shooting and editing action clearly. This makes for genuinely thrilling set pieces, from the various third-act battles between good and bad aliens inside a high school, to the fantastic football-field finale, a special-effects spectacle full of alien gunfire, giant alien creatures and a rather spectacular explosion. Especially cool is the way Pettyfer runs while deflecting volleys of said gunfire.

As well the script, written by Smallville creators Alfred Gough and Miles Millar, does a decent job playing with our expectations as to who, or what, is good or bad. The Pettyfer-hunting aliens (led by Lost alum Kevin Durand) are obviously bad, what with their freakish heights and nasty sharp teeth. But we’re not so sure about the blonde hottie (Teresa Palmer) on the motorcycle, nor the shape-shifting creature who latches on to Pettyfer in the form of a Beagle.

And yet the film is more than just a load of eye candy. It has some actual emotional heft. The characters and relationships all feel believable, at least for a movie about teen aliens. Pettyfer’s romance with a cute-girl photographer (Glee’s Dianna Agron) is especially well-handled, and also allows us to see, via a scene with the girl’s family at dinner, his character’s longing for a normal life.

Pettyfer is mainly called upon to be photogenic, be it while brooding, smiling, fighting, crying or waterskiing. Better is Olyphant, who brings a nice mix of sternness and compassion to his protector part. Best, I think, is Callan McAuliffe (Flipped) as a bullied teen Pettyfer befriends. He does a beautiful job conveying his character’s loneliness and frustration. In perhaps the film’s best scene, he pleads with Pettyfer to confirm his suspicions about Pettyfer’s true nature.

My only quibble is the emo tunes on the soundtrack, an inevitable thing considering the demographic to whom the film is meant to appeal (though I did appreciate hearing Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep” over the scene of Palmer strutting away from an exploding building). On a related note, I very much liked the score by Trevor Rabin. It enhances the action, brings the tears and, much like Caruso’s straightforward direction, never gets in the way. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Action/Sci-Fi/Thriller

Rated PG-13

DVD Release Date 5/24/11

The fart jokes were not funny at all and really did not make any sense either. I was just glad that I did not see any testicle kicking or more than a few fart jokes. And the parts when a frog tells Juliet that her butt looks fat or that she looks hot made me feel sick that children think that that is funny. The ironic twist to the original ‘Romeo and Juliet’ was not so great, as they had Juliet be a super athletic super ninja. I thought they were garden gnomes, but people who want a sporty princess in a movie are in luck.

Once the Terrafirminator lawn mower (Hulk Hogan) is bought by Gnomeo’s small companion, Benny (Matt Lucas), is where the good part comes in. Of course the ending is not too great for kids my age and maybe a little bit older. Maybe too happy or maybe too fun or whatever it might be. But, I would suggest this to young kids and maybe young parents too. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Animation/Adventure/Comedy

Rated G

DVD Release Date: 5/24/11

I say half-hearted because Portman’s character never quite succeeds in winning our sympathies. This despite the fact that much of the film is spent discussing the tragic death of hers and her husband’s newborn daughter shortly after bringing her home from the hospital. Though she does make an earnest go at connecting with her older stepson, a predictably precocious and neurotic kid played by Charlie Tahan (who could build a career out of playing Steve Zahn as a kid), she doesn’t quite seem to like him. Not that her “competition” is much more likable. Her husband’s shrill ex-wife (Lisa Kudrow) does just about everything she can to sabotage Portman.

Though it labels itself a drama/comedy, The Other Woman really isn’t nearly as funny as it ought to be. It takes its world of wealthy New Yorkers, crippled by their own self-entitlement, way too seriously. Portman remains a skilled actress in my eyes, but the singular focus on her character, even to the point of awkwardly leaving other characters out of frame, hamstrings the film. All I can say is, if you’re in the market for a movie that is about 80% comprised of bitter recriminations hurled back and forth by desperately unphilosophical rich people, this is the picture for you. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Drama

Rated R

DVD Release Date: 5/17/11

Statham assumes Bronson’s role of a professional assassin who makes his killings look like accidents. After his employers assign him to take out his friend and mentor (Donald Sutherland, excellent in a brief part), Statham himself takes on Sutherland’s son (Ben Foster) as a protege.

The film starts out as something closer to The Day of the Jackal than a typical wham-bam Statham flick, with little to no dialogue or actual action as Statham stealthily strangles a Colombian drug lord, then returns home to New Orleans where he listens to classical music, employs a prostitute and visits with Sutherland. Normally I’d complain about such a bloodless beginning, but I actually appreciated the restraint.

Things get a little more interesting when Foster enters the picture. He excelled playing psychos in Hostage and the remake of 3:10 to Yuma, and brings a similar kind of off-kilter edginess to his role here as a guy who seems less than sad about his dad’s death. Just watch as he waits to be carjacked, and then beats a carjacker to within an inch of his life.

It’s when Statham starts training Foster that the film turns into a fantastic, full-throttle frenzy of action. After Foster endures a beautifully brutal and bloody brawl with a rival hit man, he and Statham do battle with numerous thugs while weathering withering amounts of gunfire and, at one point, rappelling down a thirty-story building. At another point, Statham throws a bad guy through a bus window and the guy gets smacked dead by an oncoming car.

But that’s nothing compared to what comes later as the pair goes after Statham’s boss (Tony Goldwyn). Things get positively explosive, with a garbage truck and yet another city bus getting involved. The film’s best stunt, in fact, sees a bad guy SUV crashing through the front end of said bus and causing said bus to blow up in spectacular fashion.

None of this is especially deep, of course, despite attempts to make Statham seem tortured about taking out Sutherland. Statham is really too much like Bronson to pull off such emoting. Where Bronson’s face was seemingly made of stone, Statham wears a perpetual scowl. As such, the movie works best when the man is beating up bad guys. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Action/Crime/Thriller

Rated R

DVD Release Date: 5/17/11

Blue Valentine

So that brings us to Blue Valentine. This movie was widely acclaimed as one of the best of 2010. The story is simple. It’s about the breakdown of a marriage. I’m told that it’s a little depressing, but I am never depressed by a well-made, provocative, and artful film. Cindy (Michelle Williams), is bright, pretty, and has dreams of going to medical school. Dean (Ryan Gosling) is a high school dropout whose mother split when he was young, and who now works for a moving company. You’re beginning to get the picture? They’re kind of mismatched, but they meet, have a romantic interlude, she dances and he plays the ukulele, and through pregnancy and destiny, they end up together. We get glimpses of the couple during various phases of their relationship – the film is edited with cross cutting over time periods, and in this way, the viewer understands their back story without the typical chronological order of most narratives. Credit Jim Helton, along with the other editor, Ron Patane, for not only making this style work, but for also enhancing how the story unfolds.

Both Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams got multiple award nominations, and Michelle got the Oscar nod. I really think that Ryan’s contribution to this film was equal to that of Michelle. His Dean is a familiar character – he’s playful, loyal, very boyish, and he drinks and smokes too much. A very telling line in the movie comes when Cindy, frustrated with what she perceives as Dean’s lack of ambition, asks him if he doesn’t ever think about having a job where he doesn’t have to drink at 8 am. Dean retorts that the fact that he can drink at 8 am is actually a great “benefit” of his painting job. He is hugely devoted to their daughter, Frankie, and he’s the kind of guy that cries over the loss of a dog, and bonds immediately with the other guys at work. Ryan totally inhabits this character. It’s a pleasure to watch him. He’s an actor with great range, and we have seen that he was as effective in Lars and the Real Girl as he was in Half Nelson. He imbues Dean with a soft vulnerability that is somehow and magically melded seamlessly with his blue-collar sensibility. We’re not given a tremendous amount of detail about how their love devolves. This is really my one gripe with the movie: not quite enough linkage of how the couple went from spark to lights out. I could have used more proof about why Cindy was over Dean, because in spite of his flaws, I romanticized him and was rooting for him. Of course, I didn’t have to live with him. But instead, Michelle delivers an achingly delicate, subtly breathtaking performance, totally complex in its simplicity and not readily definable. Her turn as Wendy in Wendy and Lucy could draw a comparison, but here, in Blue Valentine, she’s even more like a painting that invites interpretation.

Add great music (you’ll know Grizzly Bear after this film) and some great sets – bridges, buses, store entrances, and the best one: the Future Room in a cheapo motel where Dean hopes to reach back to the love and the sex that attracted them at first. And speaking of sex, there are a couple of somewhat graphic scenes—graphic enough to warrant the threat of an NC-17 rating, which was eventually and thankfully overturned in favor of an R rating.

There’s so much more. We see the portrayal of family relationships, a chance encounter between Cindy and her old boyfriend, the smarmy doctor offering Cindy a new “position”, and the initial meeting point of Cindy and Dean—Cindy visiting her grandma in a retirement home while Dean is moving in an elderly gentleman. This is one of the most poignant scenes of the film. I could go on and on, but before a spoiler occurs here, I’ll just say a big “See it”, and think of Derek behind the counter years ago at Video Station. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Drama/Romance

Rated R

DVD Release Date: 5/10/11

I don’t like him. Can you really blame me?

I did, however, end up liking No Strings Attached. The story of “friends with benefits” and how it never actually works, with Natalie Portman as a medical intern, and Ashton Kutcher as a Hollywood production assistant/fledgling writer. After Kutcher ends up at Portman’s house after a debaucherous night, they make their no-love-just-sex arrangement.

It is at this point you stop caring about the main characters for a bit, because you know it’s going to get “complicated.” Kevin Kline as the hard-partying-fomer-tv-star dad was the point where I warmed up a little bit to the movie. Then when you first meet Natalie Portman’s doctor roommates, Mindy Kaling from The Office and Greta Gerwig from Greenberg, they are funny and interesting. After meeting all the secondary characters, you warm back up to the “stars” because they’re friends with these interesting people.

It’s largely predictable, and occasionally rude, but in the end, I didn’t turn it off. If you’re looking for light laughs with no commitment (sorry, had to be done) then check out No Strings Attached.

As a disclaimer, I should let you know I was the only person I know who liked this. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Comedy/Romance

Rated R

DVD Release Date: 5/10/11