Soon after humans discover the existence of both species and try to eradicate them, Beckinsale’s vamp is captured and cryogenically preserved. Many years later, she thaws out and sets about trying to thwart the genetic machinations of a ruthless scientist (Stephen Rea), receiving help from a pretty-boy vampire (Theo James) and a helpful detective (Michael Ealy).

On a positive note, the plot is relatively straightforward and easier to follow compared to the convoluted mythology storylines of the first three films, and Swedish directors Mans Marlind and Bjorn Stein both give the film a pleasingly sleek and slick look and ensure you can actually make out what’s happening during the plentiful, relentless and extremely bloody action sequences.

Beckinsale herself remains a striking figure as Selene, breathtakingly cool and confident as she struts around in her sleek leather outfits, blasts away with machine pistols and evades danger by running up walls and flipping back over the bad guys. She even bodily broadsides a van at one point, sending it flipping and flying. And her character’s graceful landings after jumping from very high places are a thing of elegance amid all the mayhem.

But the action scenes, while blessedly coherent, generally lack energy and style. You first notice this as Beckinsale, James and Beckinsale’s genetically unusual tween daughter (India Eisley) flee in a van from a pack of Lycans, and then later in Beckinsale’s initial tussle with a colossal über-Lycan, a sequence that also serves to remind us what second-rate CGI creations the werewolves are here. Paul Haslinger’s pounding score attempts to make these scenes exciting, but to no avail.

The only sequence that’s even kind of visually interesting is when Beckinsale saunters in slo-mo out of an elevator she’s just blown open, silver nitrate particles drifting down around her like snow. Otherwise, the film has little personality, and gets no help from the too low-key Rea. Its biggest flaw is how it ends so abruptly at the 78-minute mark, leaving you unsatisfied and screaming for blood. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Action/Fantasy/Horror

Rated R

DVD Release Date: 5/8/12

Like in the first film, an ensemble cast of slumming stars earns paychecks acting out various contrived scenarios in and around New York City (the center of the universe in rom coms), all leading up this time to the dropping of the Times Square ball on New Year’s Eve.

Of the eight storylines concocted by Valentine’s Day screenwriter Katherine Fugate, I couldn’t have cared less about six, including Hilary Swank being in charge of the ball, Katherine Heigl feuding with ex Jon Bon Jovi, Ashton Kutcher and Glee star Lea Michele getting trapped in an elevator and Josh Duhamel rushing to get back to the city for an important romantic appointment.

Swank, simply put, does not belong in a comedy, and, what’s more, proved incredibly ineffective in making me not want to throw up during the excruciatingly “inspirational” televised speech her character gives at one point. Bon Jovi sings better than he acts, Michele sings more than she actually talks and Duhamel’s vignette is a blatant rip off of An Affair to Remember.

The segment I cared for least involved Sarah Jessica Parker refusing to let teen daughter Abigail Breslin go to the ball drop with cute boy Jake T. Austin. Rom-com vet Parker is fine, actually, but Breslin’s rebellious and disrespectful behavior towards her, at least as written, was barely tolerable. Granted, I’m not a parent, but I still wouldn’t let a kid act the way Breslin does.

In the why-is-he-in-this-thing category is Robert De Niro, who plays a dying man just wanting to live long enough to see the ball drop one last time. (Halle Berry is his improbably pretty nurse, Cary Elwes his doctor.) Whatever respect I had left for the man after all the junk he’s made over the last decade is nearly gone. Is he really this hard up for cash?

The better segments include Seth Meyers and Jessica Biel (a funny pair, those two) as a couple competing with Til Schweiger (?!) and Sarah Paulson for first-New-Year’s-baby prize money, which has a nicely touching resolution, and Zac Efron as an energetic, bro-calling bike messenger helping timid Michelle Pfeiffer fulfill her list of ambitious New Year’s resolutions in creative ways.

Every now and then a true laugh pops up—air bags, Marshall flick regulars Hector Elizondo and Larry Miller—but otherwise this is basically just sap in movie form. Even how the characters are connected isn’t quite as interesting as it is in the first film. If you really want to be entertained, skip to the end credits and watch the gag reel. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Comedy/Romance

Rated PG-13

DVD Release Date: 5/1/12

Black Hawk Down

As cities across the globe are besieged by extraterrestrials bent on eradicating us, we follow a Camp Pendleton-based squad of Marines, led by a green Lieutenant (Ramon Rodriguez) and Eckhart’s veteran Staff Sergeant, as they battle the indistinct-looking beings while evacuating civilians (including Bridget Moynahan and Michael Peña) from Santa Monica before the city is bombed to dust.

The film is comprised mostly of ground battles amidst rubble-strewn streets and freeways that look and sound fairly realistic, even if the soldiers are fighting aliens or trying to take out alien ships. Director Jonathan Liebesman effectively uses the popular shaky-cam technique to convey the life-threatening anxiety of it all, and the soldiers behave with enjoyably exaggerated military-movie bravado, risking their lives or selflessly sacrificing themselves on a moment’s notice.

Liebesman, whose resume includes horror films like Darkness Falls and the Texas Chainsaw prequel, proves very adept with the action stuff, blowing up vehicles and buildings and showing us spectacular shots of a devastated L.A. But he also makes the various firefights appropriately intense, and certain moments of destruction, like a helicopter exploding, sudden and shocking.

And he does this from beginning to end, from when the alien ships begin to rain down like meteorites and take out Navy destroyers, to the fantastic finale in which the surviving soldiers work feverishly to destroy a massive alien command ship. The effects are top-notch, too, and were created by a company run by the Brothers Strause, who coincidentally made their own alien-invasion movie in Skyline.

What helps make this film superior to that one is that we’re given characters to root for instead of irritants we’d rather see die. This doesn’t mean they’re particularly well-developed. There’s the scared newbie, the newly minted, yet unsure, squad leader, and the solider who resents the veteran (a story element that annoyed me). All one-dimensional, but certainly tolerable.

Michelle Rodriguez has made a career out of playing badass cops and soldiers and such, so her presence here as a tech officer is not surprising, but it is definitely welcome, as she’s one of the few actresses nowadays who looks both comfortable and convincing kicking butt or shooting a gun. One of her first lines has her joking, “I didn’t get this far on my good looks.”

The real surprise here is Eckhart. He takes his stock veteran-who-wants-to-retire role and gives it some decent depth. Sure, the writers give his character a little color by having him drive a classic Mustang. But it’s Eckhart who convinces us the guy is both a tough and intelligent soldier and a compassionate man who doesn’t mind telling a boy it’s okay to cry. His performance is the closest thing we get to nuance in this super-sized serving of somewhat silly sci-fi. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Action/Sci-Fi

Rated PG-13

DVD Release Date: 6/14/11

Wilson and Sudeikis play a couple of over-40 pals who are so unhappy with their sex lives that their wives (Jenna Fischer and Christina Applegate) grant them the title pass, basically a week off from marriage during which the guys are free to have sex with other women.

To appease the teen boys and college guys, the brothers throw in plenty of the kind of gross-out moments they’re known for–male and female nudity, a woman spraying diarrhea on a shower wall, Sudeikis getting caught by cops doing something he shouldn’t in a minivan–plus plenty of explicit talk about sex and such.

But they balance out the outrageous stuff with surprisingly meaningful writing and by having situations play out a little differently than you might expect. This goes mainly for the relationships that develop between Wilson and a hot Australian girl (Nicky Whelan) and Fischer and an older man (Bruce Thomas), as well as Applegate’s flirtation with a college-age baseball player (Tyler Hoechlin).

As well the brothers make sure all the characters are interesting, even the supporting ones, like Whelan’s coffeehouse co-worker (Derek Waters), Wilson and Fischer’s twenty-something babysitter (Alexandra Daddario), and the forty-something woman (Kristin Carey) who seduces Sudeikis. Richard Jenkins (The Visitor) plays what is easily the funniest character, a fifty-something playa who gives the guys advice on how to pick up women.

The main cast is what makes the movie really work, though. Wilson is unexpectedly affecting as the practical pal with middle-age worries, and his speech about the spot on his chest where his wife and kids have all fallen asleep is the film’s emotional highlight. Sudeikis deftly delivers laughs with his perpetual potty mouth and desperate attempts to get lucky, while Applegate is adequate and Fischer simply shines, especially during the nicely-handled scenes in which she’s charmed by said older guy.

If you just want laughs, there are plenty of them, including Wilson imagining the consequences of buying said babysitter some beer; a pompous guy boasting about his Prius, which is parked next to a Hummer; Wilson and Sudeikis being oblivious to the security cameras as they walk around said guy’s new house; the use of the “Law & Order” chime as each hall-pass day starts; Sudeikis wearing a strange mask to help him sleep; the guys going to Chili’s to find women; and pal Stephen Merchant’s hilarious envisioning of what would happen if he had a hall pass. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Comedy/Romance

Rated R

DVD Release Date: 6/14/11

The Concert

This kind of comedy is actually more typical of Britain than of France these days, resembling the likes of The Full Monty, Kinky Boots, and Pirate Radio. It’s still very much a French film, despite the predominantly Russian cast. The top billed performer in the film is Mélanie Laurent, best known Stateside as the charmingly vengeful Shosanna Dreyfus from Tarantino‘s Inglourious Basterds. As Anne-Marie Jacquet, the star violinist headlining the Paris concert, she is, at face value, more of a supporting player. Yet she all but steals the film in its final act, which packed a considerably heftier emotional punch than I expected after all the silliness in the first half.

I think most people will enjoy The Concert–it’s an earnest if fanciful crowd-pleaser. Fans of classical music, particularly Tchaikovsky lovers, will appreciate the main event. Those of you who, like me, were smitten with Ms. Laurent in Basterds will find her just as bewitching here. For a film that begins as such a wacky farce, it has a surprisingly potent and satisfying emotional climax. As rickety and clumsy as its construction may be, it reaches its destination in the end. – [DVD]

Drama

Rated R

DVD Release Date: 6/14/11

Maybe template is a better choice of words. We’re not deciding where these two films fall on a chart of (wo)man vs. technology, nature, et al., and the unfortunate connotation of “template” is that of a by-the-numbers assembly line product. But really, are templates in place and if so what are we talking about? Boy-has-girl-but-may-lose-her? Thief-as-Robin Hood?.

In Monogamy, Theo (Chris Messina) is a wedding photographer with a clandestine sideline gig taking photos of people who pay to see how they look in the every day. Living in Brooklyn with his fiancee Nat (Rashida Jones), their wedding day, with mundane color scheme decisions yet to be made, is almost upon them, along with an open mic night to debut a song Nat has written. There’s friction in the relationship. Chris senses Nat’s affection towards him has shifted and a sudden hospital stay for her doesn’t help the growing divide between them. Married and divorced friends are telling him of the changes coming his way, how a couple’s combined lives are never what they think it will be. Chris questions what intimacy even means. Then “Gumshoot” gets a request from a woman to photograph her in the park and Theo slips into an obsession that he hopes will give him some answers.

Based on a real life kingpin of the Irish mob in 1970′s Cleveland, Kill the Irishman, in scattershot fashion, chronicles the rise of Danny Greene (Ray Stevenson), dock worker turned union boss turned head of rackets and garbage collection. A thug with a loyal heart, and a sense honor as large as all Ulster. Not one for going to the mattresses during gang wars, he lives in the open, thwarts the heavy hitters out of New York and seems unkillable. Ay, but it’s lonely at the top.

So there’s nothing new under the sun or anything wrong with a hook to hang your moviegoing hat on. Fresh takes still happen in film (Blue Valentine, Winter’s Bone, The Town), but in this case and as far as “templates” are concerned, it’s what’s bred in the bone will out in the flesh and both films miss their marks.

Monogamy tries to break its New York hipster romance/drama mold. Theo’s voyeuristic journey isn’t one of shallow sexual adventure for himself and thus avoids what could have been the worst possible Brian De Palma pastiche, and as he ferrets out the secrets of the woman he photographs, he’s probing into what his lack of intimacy with, and committing to Nat, will mean in the long run. Then seemingly obligatory, arty and dropped-in scenes of Messina as angsty, indie-boy drag the movie down. Anybody, anywhere can be selfish and honestly have lost their life’s moorings so you forgive Theo’s self-centered take on what he’s going through, but Rashida Jones’ easy going sincerity as Nat, even in the most bitter and melancholic scenes, coupled with other fine moments, just add insult to injury.

In Kill the Irishman director Jonathan Hensleigh succeeds in a comfortable 70’s crimeland feel but that’s all. Ray Stevenson has an everyman charisma playing Danny Greene, but soon all the clichés lock into place. Loyal subordinates who won’t rat him out, the goombas taking more than what’s fair, the fatalistic hiding in the open of a Kilkenny cat of a man who believes in hundreds of years of righteous Celtic warrior heritage. Hensligh may have wanted to craft the almost-morality-plays of Dog Day Afternoon or The French Connection, but he ended up with The Boondock Saints.

Can you enjoy these two films? Sure. They’re fine for a Friday evening with a Belgium wheat beer and an arugula and pistachio salad with basil vinaigrette or maybe corned beef and cabbage and a shot.

You match the dinner template with the film. – [DVD]

Michael Bay

Based on the first book in a potential six-book series, it centers on an alien teen (Alex Pettyfer) who, along with eight others, was sent to Earth as a child to escape a hostile invading race. When said race discovers where the kids are and starts eliminating them, the boy and his warrior-guardian (Timothy Olyphant) move from town to town in an effort to evade them. As if that’s not bad enough, Pettyfer starts developing inherited alien abilities, including telekinesis and super strength.

Caruso, who’s fast become one of my favorite directors of thrillers, once again displays a refreshing knack for shooting and editing action clearly. This makes for genuinely thrilling set pieces, from the various third-act battles between good and bad aliens inside a high school, to the fantastic football-field finale, a special-effects spectacle full of alien gunfire, giant alien creatures and a rather spectacular explosion. Especially cool is the way Pettyfer runs while deflecting volleys of said gunfire.

As well the script, written by Smallville creators Alfred Gough and Miles Millar, does a decent job playing with our expectations as to who, or what, is good or bad. The Pettyfer-hunting aliens (led by Lost alum Kevin Durand) are obviously bad, what with their freakish heights and nasty sharp teeth. But we’re not so sure about the blonde hottie (Teresa Palmer) on the motorcycle, nor the shape-shifting creature who latches on to Pettyfer in the form of a Beagle.

And yet the film is more than just a load of eye candy. It has some actual emotional heft. The characters and relationships all feel believable, at least for a movie about teen aliens. Pettyfer’s romance with a cute-girl photographer (Glee’s Dianna Agron) is especially well-handled, and also allows us to see, via a scene with the girl’s family at dinner, his character’s longing for a normal life.

Pettyfer is mainly called upon to be photogenic, be it while brooding, smiling, fighting, crying or waterskiing. Better is Olyphant, who brings a nice mix of sternness and compassion to his protector part. Best, I think, is Callan McAuliffe (Flipped) as a bullied teen Pettyfer befriends. He does a beautiful job conveying his character’s loneliness and frustration. In perhaps the film’s best scene, he pleads with Pettyfer to confirm his suspicions about Pettyfer’s true nature.

My only quibble is the emo tunes on the soundtrack, an inevitable thing considering the demographic to whom the film is meant to appeal (though I did appreciate hearing Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep” over the scene of Palmer strutting away from an exploding building). On a related note, I very much liked the score by Trevor Rabin. It enhances the action, brings the tears and, much like Caruso’s straightforward direction, never gets in the way. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Action/Sci-Fi/Thriller

Rated PG-13

DVD Release Date 5/24/11

The fart jokes were not funny at all and really did not make any sense either. I was just glad that I did not see any testicle kicking or more than a few fart jokes. And the parts when a frog tells Juliet that her butt looks fat or that she looks hot made me feel sick that children think that that is funny. The ironic twist to the original ‘Romeo and Juliet’ was not so great, as they had Juliet be a super athletic super ninja. I thought they were garden gnomes, but people who want a sporty princess in a movie are in luck.

Once the Terrafirminator lawn mower (Hulk Hogan) is bought by Gnomeo’s small companion, Benny (Matt Lucas), is where the good part comes in. Of course the ending is not too great for kids my age and maybe a little bit older. Maybe too happy or maybe too fun or whatever it might be. But, I would suggest this to young kids and maybe young parents too. – [DVD] [Blu-Ray]

Animation/Adventure/Comedy

Rated G

DVD Release Date: 5/24/11

It features Hayden Christensen, Thandie Newton and John Leguizamo as a trio of people who, along with a young boy (Jacob Latimore), struggle to survive a freaky end-of-the-world scenario in which shadows seemingly come alive and cause people to vanish into thin air, leaving behind their clothes. As long as the group is bathed in some kind of illumination, the shadows can’t get them.

As he did in Session 9 and The Machinist, Anderson eschews gore in favor of mood, effectively creating a surreal sense of dread, from Christensen discovering empty city streets and watching a passenger jet crash to the ground, to the way the shadows whisper as they slither about or close in on a survivor. Not to mention the anxiety you feel every time the lights flicker, which is a lot. The only instance of actual gore is when Newton happens upon a man who was in the middle of being operated on.

It helps that the characters aren’t as irritating as they usually are in apocalyptic thrillers, though they’re also not that well-defined. They each have their traits–Christensen’s selfish but has a heart; Leguizamo’s a shy conspiracy nut–and I suppose that’s enough to make us root for their survival. Newton makes the best impression, I think, as a woman who lost her baby to the writhing darkness.

I imagine it will irk some that we never get a real explanation as to what’s going on, just various theories (one emphasized a little more than the others) bandied about by the characters, as well as Christensen’s ominous observation that each day the sun rises a little later and sets a little earlier. I myself didn’t quite understand the part where Leguizamo walks down an underground tunnel. Nonetheless, if you’re not already afraid of the dark, you probably will be after watching this. – [DVD]

Horror/Mystery/Thriller

Rated R

DVD Release Date: 5/17/11